I've been realizing little by little over the past few days how much my life is going to change next week. NEXT WEEK! I'm going to be a mom NEXT WEEK! Holy Cow.
People keep asking me if I am getting excited about the trip to get Audrey. I keep answering that I am taking it one day at a time so I don't lose my mind too quickly. And that is true. Did you know that the first week after I decided to adopt Audrey I only slept a couple of hours a night? True story. I started planning and thinking, worry and fretting about this path that God has us on. But everything sort of fell into place and it got easier sleep and not worry.
Then last week some volunteers at Starfish gave Audrey a hair cut. I just about lost it when I found out they cut her hair....alot.... I know they are still in charge of her there and take REALLY great care of her. But they cut her hair and I was panicking. I'll be in charge of her hair cuts, doctors appointments, budgeting for two.....seriously......I will be in charge of ALL of this. Me? Really? God, are you sure about this, 'cause you know I'm the worlds biggest ding dong... I quickly fell back into the not sleeping well and worry mode.
This week I made Audrey's first doctors appointment, scheduled her first haircut here, and am making plans for play dates. I've done all of this with out panic not because of anything I have done, but because of something that my friend Dian reminded me of in small group at church this week: When I can't, God can. He has a plan. This lesson hit me on so many levels because I had focused on the things that I can't control and the things that are not important. So she has a short hair cut that I didn't chose, big deal. She has people around her that love her and want her to look beautiful for me when I pick her up. So what if I have a limited budget. If I live within that budget and honor Him with our spending He will provide. So what if she is going to have lots of doctors appointments. We are blessed to live near St. Louis, Mo. where there are some of the top doctors in the United States for children practicing at Childrens Hospital. (and of course near the CARDINALS!)
I've had other realizations this week: this is the last pay check I'll get where the money is all mine, this is the last week I will be only getting myself up to go to work, and this is the last time I'll be making posts while sane. But it is all good. And to answer the question: YES I AM getting EXCITED!
Here is Audrey sitting with her Ayi (aunti or nanny) and her YaYa (the man they call Grandpa who happens to be the husband to her Ayi). Also pictured here are some of the wonderful volunteers that I can't wait to meet - Shang, Christy, Oliva, Ting. The kids here are Iris, Jack, Joy, Seth, and my boyfriend Jack. I can't wait to meet and hug those little babies!